Diary of an Opera Singer: Limerick
Rhoslyn Jones
Photo by Helenna Santos
December 19, 2022
There once was a girl on the couch
Who sat in a comfortable slouch,
“These movies are awful,
Hey, make me a waffle!”
She squawked to her man like a grouch.
You see, this girl is a teacher
Of opera, she’s kind of a screecher,
And she needs brainless shows,
And large shapeless clothes,
Resembling a mythical creature.
First she tries Hulu then Netflix,
Prime, Disney+ for a quick fix,
A Hallmark so merry,
Look, there’s her friend Barry!
“No waffles? Then bring me the breadsticks!”
This woman is now on vacation
At home, because of inflation,
And it’s been a long year
She needs a large beer
Ladies, let get in formation.
Dig out your blankets and sweats,
Gather your snacks and your pets.
Email on snooze,
A book you’ll peruse
“Alone time!” We’ll scream in duets.
She refuses the rush and the bustle,
She shouts STOP if they ask her to hustle.
Hell no, she won’t jog,
She’s asleep with her dog,
Attempting to not move a muscle.
Aggressively seeking to rest,
It’s a privilege, a right, and I’m blessed.
But with zero Roz guilt
I’ll defend to the hilt,
My own self imposed house arrest.
Give resting a try, you’ll love it!
Try waffles, or some kind of nugget.
When asked to go out
You have choices and clout.
Instead of compliance, try f*ck it.